How the Whale got his Throat
This is the story of How the Whale got his Throat,
and it happened Just So.
Long ago in the high and far off times when the world was new.
Deep Deep in the sea there lived a Whale called Smiler.
and he ate fishes.
He ate the starfish and the garfish.
and the crab and the dab.
and the plaice and the dace.
and the skate and his mate
and the mackerel and the pickerel and the really truly twirly whirly eel.
Till at last there was only one small fish left in all the sea.
and he was a small Stute Fish called PIngle.
and with great 'stutness he hid behind the Great Whale's ear where he was
safe from his huge jaws.
I'm hungry said the Whale.All the fish are gone and there's nothing left to eat.
Oh noble and generous brother said the small 'Stute Fish in a small 'stute voice.
Have you ever tasted Man?
No, said the Whale, what's it like?
Nice, said Pingle, Nice but nubbly.
Then fetch me one roared the Whale.
Well, said the Stute Fish if you swim to Latitude 50 North
longitude 40 West
You will find, sitting on a raft, in a pair of blue canvas trousers held up by a pair of suspenders.
You must not forget the suspenders.
With a jack-knife in his hand, a Man, in the shape of a shipwrecked Mariner called
Mr Henry Albert Bivvens AB
Who, it is only fair to tell you, is a Scotsman and a man of infinite-resource-and-sagacity.
Then Smiler swam up behind the Mariner and opened his mouth back, and back and back
and swallowed Mr Albert Bivvens AB and the blue canvas trousers, and the suspenders.
which we must not forget. and the jacknife.
He swallowed them all down into his warm dark inside cupboards.
But as soon as the Mariner, who remember, was a man of infinite-resource-and-sagacity.
found himself within the Whales's warm,dark inside cupboards.
He stumped and he bumped and he pranced and he danced and he banged and he clanged and he hit
and he bit and he leapt and he crept, and he hopped and he dropped.
and he danced hornpipes where he shouldn't.
And he gave the Whale the most terrible Hiccups.
You were right Pingle, he hicked, this Man is very nubbly.
What shall i do with him.
Tell him to come out said the Stute Fish.
So the Whale called down his own throat to the shipwrecked Mariner.
Ho There, Mr Albert Bivvens AB Come out at once and behave yourself.
Oh NO said the Mariner,and remember he was a man of infinite-resource-and-sagacity.
Take me directly to my native land of Scotland back to my Mother and the Girl I am to Marry.
And I'll think about the possibility of coming out.
and he began to dance more than ever.
So the Whale set off as fast as his Hiccups would allow to the shores of Scotland.
Meanwhile, deep inside the Whale's warm, dark inside cupboards, the Mariner considered how he
might prevent that greedy Smiler from eating up all the fishes in the sea.
and he looked at his raft, and he looked at his suspenders, you mustn't forget those suspenders.
and he looked at his jack-knife and he thought…
I have the answer
Scotland ahead called out the small Stute Fish.
and Smiler, thankfully, swam up on shore.For it had been a very long swim.
Especially what with having hiccups and all.
and the Whale opened his mouth wide and wide and wide saying,
I have brought you to your native shore. Now please come out from my throat Mr.Albert Bivvens AB
And Mr.Albert Bivvens AB did! But he heaved up behind him his raft, now cut into little square holes
like a grating.
And he fitted it good and tight in the Whales throat. so that he could neither cough up or swallow down.
and he tied it firm with his suspenders.. now you know why you were not to forget those suspenders.
Then he recited this parting lament.
By means of a grating, I have stopped your ating!
and he went home to his Mother and the girl he was to marry and they all lived happily ever after.
Particularly the small Stute Fish called Pingle. Cos now the Whale would never be able to eat him.
The grating was stuck in Smiler's throat for ever and always so that he could neither cough up or swallow down anything but the very tiniest of fishes.
And ever since that day all the Whales you will ever see in the deep deep sea
never can eat you up 'cos they have grating held tight in their throats by suspenders.
Precisly like Smiler the first and greediest Whale in the world.